Tricking The Mind and Other Learned Circus Acts

I’m wearing a Brunello Cucinelli Leather Jacket, scarf and necklace, Cos Trapeze Top, Rag and Bone Pants, and Michael Kors Heeled Booties

Today was Tuesday. What’s more boring than a Tuesday? At least on Monday you get to be either grumpy all day because it’s only Monday, or giddy all day because you’ve just come off of a really rocking weekend going out with your homegirls and meeting a cute boy who distracts you from even realizing that it is in fact the first day of a 5 day work week. Wednesday is better than tuesday because it is the middle day of the week. It is easy to trick the mind into thinking ‘It’s Wednesday! Only two more days to go!’ Thursday is basically the weekend or at least a good excuse to have a cocktail after work. And Friday… well Friday isn’t really even a weekday because, lets be honest, everyone gives up on working hard, dressing well, and dieting by 6PM on Thursday night. Some Tuesdays are so bad I can’t believe I even make it to Wednesday! So this morning I woke up and decided to make this Tuesday different. Rather than putting on my usual fall outfit consisting of skinny jeans, boots, and either a sweater or some combination of tee shirt, blazer, necklace and scarf, I pulled out my very favorite German top and some stacked heel booties and told myself this Tuesday would be different than the rest.

First of all, who doesn’t feel great when they’re fully put together? When you look good, you feel good… which I’m sure is a mantra that my mother recorded and played on repeat while I was sleeping throughout my youth. By throwing on leggings and a big sweater, you are physically giving in to looking sloppy and therefore acting sloppy all day. And don’t try to tell me that leggings and a big sweater is ‘so hot right now’… even though it is. If you’re not 6’1″ and 103 lbs you do NOT look good in leggings and a big sweater. Something I also discovered during my leggings and big sweater days is that the bigger the sweater, the more room you have to fill it out, consequently resulting in overeating, gilt about overeating, and most likely wearing leggings and a big sweater on Wednesday, too. It becomes a vicious cycle. Take my word on this one – I’ve done the research.

Happy Tuesday!

My favorite German top is not my favorite because it’s German (although I do have some very favorite German things including lederhosen, dachsunds, and one of my oldest best friends Annabelle), but because it is the most flattering shape for a lady with an overly enhanced upper body area, namely, the bosom. A trapeze shape is that of a top or dress that is fitted in the chest and flares out towards the hem of the garment, creating a loose shape with movement that does not create a bag like affect on the body. Many bigger women can’t wear bigger styles because they make them look… well… bigger. That is why the trapeze is completely genius! By creating some definition of your upper chest area, you are able to hide your stomach and waist without losing the notion that you are, in fact, a hot mama under all that fabric. Now, ladies who are not as naturally well endowed as I am: do not fear! The trapeze is great for you too! Just make sure that it is fitted enough under the arm so that you don’t look like the liberty bell and you can partake in the wearing of this great silhouette too. Pair with skinny jeans and heeled booties and we can be twins! Well… could have, if you wore that today.

So wake up tomorrow and put yourself together, and you just might be able to trick the mind into thinking that Wednesday is no worse than Friday.

Your Waistline Might Be A Million Years Behind You

Wilma Flinstone is the perfect example of a lady who followed the paleo diet and became hot stuff!

If you were told that acting like a caveman would make you skinny, healthy, and happy, in 30 days or less, would you do it? Okay. Me neither. But what if I told you that if you act like a caveman, but do things like shower, go to the gym, take mass transit to work, wear clothes that make you look like hot stuff, update your eHarmony profile, and continue all modern day activities all while EATING like a caveman, you would still get skinnier, healthier, and happier in 30 days or less? I imagine that most of you are rolling your eyes saying to yourself ‘I can’t believe that loony toon is trying out yet another fad diet’. It’s true. I’ve given into the super hot right now and almost impossible Paleo Diet. And I’ll tell you why. Because it’s good for you. Imagine that! A DIET THAT’S GOOD FOR YOU. The Paleo diet is not like Atkins where you eat your weight in butter, or Jenny Craig where you are fed ‘healthy meals’ consisting of processed flavors and more sodium than goes into the sea salt body scrub at Canyon Ranch. The Paleo diet is very simple: Eat natural, whole, and non processed foods, and you will be better starting from the inside out.

Sounds pretty easy, right? Wrong. There is a whole list of delicious foods that I am not allowed to go anywhere near! Imagine life without whole wheat pasta, fat free mozzarella, low fat chocolate covered yogurt pops, or skinny vanilla latte’s for an entire 30 days. Do you think I’ve been doing Weight Watchers for too long with that list of cravings? Regardless, the Paleo diet is a no grain, no dairy, no sugar, no happiness diet that is said to change your health and your waistline in 30 days. How? Well I’ll get there. I’m only 8 chapters into the book. I also want to mention that I keep saying ’30 days or less’ because, allegedly, going paleo can turn your health around in a month. And 30 days is all I committed to, so we may never know what happens after that.

One week ago today I decided enough was enough. Since losing 15 pounds I have maintained the same weight for about a year now, and for me, I have maintained it for approximately a year too long. At first I was all ‘WOOHOO! 15 pounds down!’ and now I’m like ‘you’re not skinny, so why are you eating that ice cream, fool?’ And I’m right. Why am I eating that ice cream? I’m learning that ice cream, and all refined and non natural sugar products are tricky tricksters that want your brain to think one thing but your body to do another. By eating ice cream, it is making my brain think that I NEED sugar because that is what I’m putting in my body. And don’t fool yourself. Your body has the same reaction to carbohydrates when they are in your body, except they are even worse! Carbs come in all kinds of delicious forms like baked lays, pop chips, chex mix, pita chips, and pretzel crisps, and do you know what those delectable, crunchy, savory little snacks do to you? Well, I won’t preach, but I assure you they do nothing good. Over the course of the last week I have eaten my weight in romaine lettuce, arugula, bananas, grilled chicken, turkey, sweet potatoes, eggs, avocado, nuts, and especially kale, on a daily basis. And I’ll tell you something. I feel AWESOME. Within the last week I have not felt overstuffed or famished, or woken up feeling guilty from my indulgent meal the previous evening. My cravings for turkey sandwiches with lettuce mayo and swiss have dissipated along with my cookie and espresso ritual after lunch. I am living on food. Real food. That I am crafting in my own kitchen. Go figure.

Tonight I decided to try a little paleo cooking and picked up some almond flour and chicken breasts on my way home from the office. With a little added love from my friends cayenne, red and black (quite the gang, aren’t they?) I kicked up the flour dusting and made some absolutely delish chicken cutlets! By adding arugula, fresh tomatoes, onion and avocado I made myself a paleo version of one of my favorite meals: Chicken Milanese.

Since I woke up feeling fab and relatively weightless I decided to wear a figure flattering menswear inspired outfit today. With my skinniest jeggings, I wore an oversized white blouse with a banded stretchy tank underneath, and balanced the volume of my top with a pair of chunky boots. Of course, I wore a belt to pull in the volume of the blouse around my slowly shrinking hips and threw on a necklace for good measure. I was too busy on concentrating on being a caveman to get a picture, so instead I’m featuring a pic of a girl who always knows how to accentuate her curves!

Sofia Vergara at the Golden Globes. My God isn’t she fab!